If I were writing a song about Travis Kelce, a man Iâve never met, I would mention that he plays football, and that he has a podcast. Iâd point out that heâs about to marry Taylor Swift, and that the two of them appear to be very happy together. I might also include a line about how Kelce seems fun; he has good vibes. If I were really reachingâand I almost certainly would be, because, again, I donât know himâIâd resort to basic physical descriptions. Heâs tall, and has noticeably large hands (great for catching balls). Also, heâs pretty hot.
These aspects, and seemingly these alone, are the ones that Swift dwells on in âThe Life of a Showgirl,â her twelfth studio album, which came out on Friday. âPledge allegiance to your hands, your team, your vibes,â she sings in âThe Fate of Ophelia,â which also includes a passing reference to Kelce using his âmegaphoneââa.k.a. his podcast, âNew Heightsââto publicly express his interest in her, after he had attended one of her Eras Tour shows in 2023. In âWi$h Li$t,â Swift says she âmade wishes on all of the starsâ for someone like Kelce: âPlease, God, bring me a best friend who I think is hot.â The next song, âWoodââSabrina Carpenter-esque in content and Jackson 5-like in soundâis essentially one long dick joke. (Well, not that long: at two minutes and thirty seconds, âWoodâ is technically the shortest track on the album.) âRedwood tree, it ainât hard to see / His love was the key that opened my thighs,â she sings. At one point, she suggests that Kelce has reached âNew Heights of manhood.â (âSinging about travis kelceâs penis over a Jackson 5 sample should get you taken out back like a rabid dog,â one person wrote on X.)
When Swift first announced that she had made a new albumâin a guest appearance on Kelceâs podcast, which he co-hosts with his brother, back in Augustâshe said that the music came from the âmost infectiously joyful, wild, dramaticâ period of her life. Career-wise, she was at a peak: sheâd begun writing the record while she was still on the Eras Tour. But she was also alluding to her relationship with Kelce. Swift described his public attempts to court her, adding âThis is sort of what Iâve been writing songs about wanting to happen to me since I was a teen-ager.â After they finished recording the podcast, Kelce proposed to Swift in his back yard.
I must admit that, when I heard about the engagement, I immediately wondered what it would mean for her music. I fully accept that this is a prime example of how we think of artists less as real people than as entertainment. And thatâs the sort of thing that I expected Swift to spend more time grappling with on âShowgirl,â which she billed as a behind-the-scenes look at the pressures of being a performer. Swift is the most commercially successful musician alive, and it might seem, at best, reductive, and, at worst, misogynistic, to suggest that her love life would have any bearing on the quality of her work. She had spent the early years of her career contending with a âboy-crazyâ image, largely driven by the media and her detractors, which she would go on to satirize in âBlank Space,â her song about her âlong list of ex-lovers.â And yet these men havenât just been her boyfriends; theyâve been her muses. She is a master of telling personal stories, making them sound compelling and, most impressively, making them feel relatable. This is often achieved through the heavy use of metaphor: a person who is beautiful inside and out is âa mansion with a viewâ (âDelicateâ); a decaying long-distance relationship is captured through âthe rust that grew between telephonesâ (âMaroonâ). Some have speculated that âWoodâ is a riff on a viral 2021 tweet lampooning Swiftâs songwriting style, in which a user joked that Swifties must be horrified when Ariana Grande âsings about sex and doesnât write it like âhe stuck his long wood into my redwood forest and let his sap ferment my roots.â â
She has always had an instinct for narrative, so itâs striking that, as Swiftâs relationship with Kelce has grown more serious, the story sheâs told about him has largely remained the same. On âSo High School,â one of her first songs about him, she sings, âYou know how to ball, I know Aristotle.â A little more than a year later, when she posted about their engagement on Instagram, she captioned the post âYour English teacher and your gym teacher are getting married.â These are the roles they adopted, too, when Swift went on Kelceâs podcast. At one point, Swift described some of her music as âesoteric.â âSheâs so hot when she says these big words,â Kelce said. Swift gave him a slightly exasperated look: âYou know what esoteric means!â
Prior to Kelce, Swiftâs muse was Joe Alwyn, a British actor whoâs seemingly so kind and unassuming in real life that he keeps getting typecast in films as a sexual predator. (âBoy Erased,â âKinds of Kindness,â and, depending on your interpretation of a scene that happens offscreen, âThe Brutalist.â) Alwyn is the presumptive inspiration for âDelicate,â âGorgeous,â and the other love songs on âreputationââwhich, despite being framed as a revenge album, is probably Swiftâs most romantic recordâas well as many tracks on her subsequent album, âLover.â (âIâve loved you three summers now, honey, but I want âem all,â she sings, on the title track.) Alwyn and Swift were still dating when she made âfolkloreâ and âevermore,â the indie, lyrical masterpieces that she released during the pandemic, and he even helped write a few of the songs. (âI just heard Joe singing the entire fully formed chorus of âbettyâ from another room,â Swift explained in her documentary-style concert film, âfolklore: the long pond studio sessions.â) Alwyn is also credited as a songwriter on âSweet Nothing,â one of the loveliest songs in Swiftâs discography, about a partner who wants nothing but your companyâin a world that demands everything elseâon the âMidnightsâ album.
Swift and Alwyn broke up in 2023, and, roughly a year later, she put out âThe Tortured Poets Department,â an album that covered three muses: Alwyn, the 1975âs front man Matty Healy, and Kelce. Healy and Swiftâs relationship may have been controversial and short-lived, but I will always be grateful for it, because it resulted in âGuilty as Sin?,â which might be the only truly erotic song that Swift has ever written. (The track, which is about the thrill of fantasizing about someone who youâre no longer with, suggests that Swift is better at writing about the fantasy of sex than about the actual act of it.) Kelce, meanwhile, got the aforementioned âSo High Schoolâ (âBrand new, full throttle / Touch me while your bros play Grand Theft Autoâ) and âThe Alchemyâ (âSo when I touch down / Call the amateurs and cut âem from the team / Ditch the clowns, get the crown / Baby, Iâm the one to beatâ).